R.I.P Steve McNair 1973-2009

I was looking to get something at my favorite place near the ballpark in Anaheim, when I saw on the TV - former NFL quarterback Steve McNair had suffered a fatal gunshot wound along with a 20-year old companion.

I cringed just a little - what else could I do? Fatal means the guy is dead. Not injured, not paralyzed, but dead.

I consider myself a casual NFL fan, whose closest city with an NFL team, to be about 90 miles away but if I had to throw a name out there - McNair was probably my favorite 'guy.'

There was the Super Bowl play in 1999 with seconds left to go - a co-MVP award in 2003.

I don't think McNair was ever as convincingly dominant [in any particular game or season perhaps as an individual player] or as lucky [to win a Super Bowl or two perhaps] as some of his peers - but in his professional football career, he kept on taking a beating and kept on ticking.

Maybe I'd only seen spurts of his play during a random TV broadcast or in a highlight - but there was an innate toughness McNair showed, that made him a fun guy to watch.

Maybe there were two or three guys coming down on him - but he had the ability to fight through for just a bit and constantly keep plays alive.

He had an ability to makes plays with his legs - but unlike the stereotyped mobile quarterback however, also had the ability to throw the ball a long way.

Up to when he retired, McNair represented the 'alternative' taste to his well-decorated, highly-regarded peers - guys like Brett Favre, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady.

The end for McNair seemed a little strange, but not within the realm of the life for the professional athlete - he had an apartment he rented with his friend. Oh, I'm just making a guess here, but the apartment was likely a place used to entertain particular other friends, not of the family.

McNair's SUV was co-owned by the 20-year old woman who was shot to death - who was likely not a babysitter-type for his family.

It kind of sucks that when there is tragedy - the people [that are not in our immediate families] we tend to mourn are the ones in the spotlight, like Nick Adenhart, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays and McNair among others.

However, when we do that, we go from really mourning someone we think we kind of know - to finding out, things are a little more complicated, than just throwing out random tributes to particular notables.

R.I.P. Steve

Taking account of it all with some perspective

I live in Orange County, California but was about 90 miles away in El Cajon - to attend one of baseball Hall of Famer Tony Gwynn's public appearances at a car dealership on Nov. 15.

I was pretty much isolated from the fires that burned through parts of Riveride/Los Angeles County and Orange County - the Triangle Complex; Brea, Anaheim Hills, Yorba Linda, Chino Hills, Corona, Diamond Bar.

I visited a baseball card shop down south to stock up on some 'goodies' from their commons bins - spending the afternoon there with a friend immersed in digging up cards the store was selling for a dime each.

I finally called back my mother, who had called me about five times intermittently during the afternoon - she said a neighborhood park burned down along with a singular house close to ours.

Going back to Orange County, there is a surreal feeling because you know there is supposedly a fire threatening your home - but life is still going on. You realize something is going on that maybe bugging you, but then it isn't affecting others at all. There is supposed to be this fire, but how can it be, that everyone is not stopping in their tracks?

I was kind of stunned on my way to Uncle's house, where it was somewhat safer [though I didn't honestly know how much] - I was seeing glimpses of the fires blazing, blowing for the first time. There were fires at several different areas and I'm thinking this wasn't just some isolated incident. I was sort of scared at the implication of these fires burning.

I tried to keep it as real as possible for me - knowing I was safe and really wasn't exposed to what I consider a tragedy. If I'd stayed the whole day at home, then go through the motions of having to be evaculated 'on the go,' I might have lost my cool.

I was worried about my inanimate, sentimental stuff however like keepsakes and collectibles - I wish my brother didn't patronize and mock me about not being able to save my 'stuff' since I didn't want to be reminded that a fire might wipe out 'stuff' I thought I cared enough about to build up.

What is the stuff I'll take a chance on burning without really crying over it [?] - I may need to have the cavalier attitude for most things, that they can either burn and/or you can replace them one way or the other [no matter how much they cost in the first place].

It doesn't mean certain things may not mean as much, but only serve as distractions - by keeping you from actually saving some one-of-a-kind items or stuff that may actually be crucial. Of course, you don't have a choice at times to even save the truly special stuff.

You amass and accumulate - but find it is a mess to realistically take all your 'stuff' where you know you aren't worrying about one more thing. It becomes a doomsday scenario, where you must decide what to grab, on the run.

What are the must grabs [?] - it really is difficult to think about; maybe my little thumb drive, since it has become sort of your storage area for journals, database information, maybe passwords, et al. You don't do a single thing on the computer, without opening a file on your thumb drive.

I was able to take refuge at my Uncle's home - good thing no one forgot the family dog.